If You've Got Trouble

If You've Got Trouble

anonymous asks: I have a hard time letting go of things/people/memories/ideas that make me feel happy. I have feelings for a girl who isn’t interested in me romantically, I respect and understand completely her position and that she is under no obligation to like me back, she wants to be friends, honestly. shes not just saying that to soften the blow. I want to be friends too if that’s the way I can be happy with her, I just want her in my life in whatever way I can. She makes me honestly happy. she’s beautiful in every way a person can be beautiful, the problem is it’s been a year and I still haven’t been able to let those feelings go, I know she knows this and it makes her uncomfortable, which makes me feel like shit. I feel creepy and desperate and annoying even though I know I’m not any of these things, I just want to let these feelings go and be friends with her but I don’t know how and I hate myself and want to cry when I think about it. Please help me…. I’m utterly lost.

asking-jude responds:

From the way you speak of her, I can tell you hold deep and lasting admiration for this girl. Nevertheless, such admiration is destroying your mental health. While losing something and/or someone may be difficult, you must understand that this is a part of life. If you continue to hold onto the past so strongly, you will never be able to fully embrace the present. Nevertheless, there are ways you can overcome the obstacle you speak of in a healthy and positive manner. 

I would first suggest distancing yourself from this girl you are so fond of. Inform her that while you do love and care for her as a friend, you need to focus inwardly. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to rid these romantic inclinations you have for her. If she truly is as wonderful and compassionate as you believe her to be, she will understand. 

I then would highly recommend you take part in an extracurricular or pick up a new hobby. This will not only work as a healthy outlet to express your discontent, but allow you to discover who you are and what you are really passionate about. Whether it be writing, swimming, or painting, find an activity that you truly are enthused about. It would be even better if said activity was collaborative as this will allow you to form new friendships while on the road to understanding and loving yourself. 

If ever you experience severe amounts of lowliness, I would recommend you check out such sites as Blah Therapy and 7 Cups of Tea. You will be connected with an active listener who will be more than willing to provide you with the comfort and consolation you deserve in such distressing moments.

I wish you the best of luck~! Stay strong, and keep in contact!

Oct 13

anonymous asks: Hey Jude! Love what you’re doing here keep it up. :) anyways I’m here to ask you for some advice, okay so I’m 15 and one of my teachers is 24 I noticed he kinda gives me special attention sometimes like the other day I was daydreaming while everyone was packing up and I like saw him staring at me in the corner of my eye, not like “what is she doing” type of stare but something else. He also smiles a lot at me, he’s a good guy in general but idk he acts different around me. And like he always let me off easier than the class like I did my hw wrong today and let me off but scolded someone else. He also fidgets a lot? Idk my guy friend said guys do that when they like someone. Idk does he like me? Or am I just making everything up cause I kinda like him. Obvs I’m not going to pursue anything but idk what do I do? What does this mean? I’m so confused :/

asking-jude responds:

Well, love, every teacher acquires their own favorite student, whether they admit to it or not. Said favorite student is usually treated a lot kinder by the teacher and is let off easier in the academic realms of the class. It is human nature to always single out individuals we deem more worthy of our admiration than others. As long as the relationship between you two remains professional, I would just enjoy and take advantage of the leniency and affability your teacher grants you. I, therefore, wouldn’t over-think it.

Nevertheless, if you believe said teacher’s behavior to be deemed inappropriate, I would contact your parent and/or principal immediately. Inform him/her of your teacher’s morally incorrect conduct, and I’m sure they will be more than willing to prohibit such an occurrence from happening again.

I’m here if you need anything, alright? Stay lovely~!

Oct 13

Anonymous said: Hi Jude, how are you doing lately? I don't know what to do, I started a job 3 weeks ago and I know starting a job is always tough, but it's made my mood and anxiety so much worse. I panic in the evenings and can't sleep or find it hard to breathe, and when I'm there I feel like I'm going to cry and am constantly on edge... It's Saturday and I'm already panicking about going on Monday. I can't keep going like this. I just keep thinking it would be better not being here. I hope you're okay.

Hello, anon~! I’m doing well, thanks.

Love, it seems as though whatever job you attain is greatly deteriorating your mental health. I would, therefore, strongly recommend you cease such an endeavor, if you are financially capable of doing so, in order to get a better handle on your possible mental disorder. This will not only allow you to feel better, but enable you to become a more productive worker.

I would inform a parent and/or guidance counselor about the anxiety you attain, and that you would like to seek professional help. A wide variety of outlets (e.g. support groups, medicinal treatment, therapy, etc.) can be offered to you by just asking. If you are not financially capable of quitting your job, I would pursue this help during your times off and as often as possible. Do not be afraid to take advantage of such assistance as everyone deserves a healthy and positive recovery.

You are a wonderful individual, love. I’m so sorry you have undergo such mental strain. Nevertheless, with professional help, you’ll be able to conquer this anxiety you feel, and embrace life to the fullest. Just remember to stay strong and remain positive.

I wish you the best of luck, I’m here if you need anything at all~!

Oct 13

Anonymous said: I don't feel like I'm suicidal but once in awhile I get really really sad and I feel like I don't even need to be here anymore.

Well, love, whether you are or are not suicidal, you are suffering such vast amounts of emotional pain that it hinders your ability to think logically. You are a lovely individual who has just as much of a right to be here as any other human being. I assure you, you are loved and you are thought of. If you were to vanish from this planet, you would be missed tremendously by those who knew you.

I, therefore, would strongly suggest you seek professional assistance in dealing with this mental instability. Said professional will allow you to get a better grasp on who you are and how you are feeling as well as enable you to discern what is and what is not rational. Inform a parent and/or guidance counselor about your mental deterioration, and I’m sure they will be able to provide you with the outlets you need to conquer this supposed sadness.

If ever there comes a time where you feel a strong desire to end yourself, please call 1-800-273-8255 (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline). You will instantly become connected with a trained professional that will bring you out of this dark and destructive mindset. As well, if you are undergoing peaks of sadness and/or misery, feel free to check out Blah Therapy and/or 7 Cups of Tea. Active listeners will be more than willing to comfort and console you.

I’m here if you need anything, wonderful~! Stay positive.

Oct 13

Anonymous said: Is it dumb that I can't get over Robin Williams death? I saw his face when I turned in the tv and nearly had a panic attack. I tried to watch an animated movie and didn't know he voiced a character. I nearly cried. Am I insane?

Oh, love, it isn’t silly that you’re mourning over the loss of Robin Williams! He was a talented and brilliant comedian that touched the hearts of millions around the world. Robin Williams is a part of our childhood, a part of many of the pastimes we all share. Whether he be playing a century-old genie in the movie, “Aladin,” or an English teacher at the well-respected Welton Academy in “Dead Poets Society,” Robin Williams has influenced people of all ages. He will truly be missed, I assure you.

Nevertheless, you must learn to accept and respect his passing, love. He was in a great deal of mental and emotional pain, and could no longer succumb to such suffering. Rather than mourn over his loss, we should be thankful that we were blessed with such a wonderful and brilliant individual as Robin Williams. Once you begin to understand and embrace his death, the anguish and misery you feel will become far less severe.

Be that as it may, allow yourself the time and freedom to grieve over him as to bottle up such emotions would only breed further torment. I assure you, love, you are not alone in experiencing this period of lamentation. Thousands of fans are going through the same pain and heartache you hold currently. It is only a matter of time before you and other fans will pass such a period and seek acceptance over his decease.

I wish you the best of luck, lovely~! Stay strong!

Oct 13
Oct 11
Oct 11

caringmotherlyadvice said: Hey I'm a new blog do you think you could give me a little shoutout? Sorry to be annoying Darling <3 you're amazing

Shout-out approved. 

Check out caringmotherlyadvice, my wonderful followers~!

Oct 11

anonymous asks: I’ve liked one of my good guy friends for almost a year now (as long as I’ve known him) and he goes to a different high school (I go to an all-girls school, he’s co-ed) and I’ve been trying to keep the fact that I like him secret-ish, however, I’ve told some mates (who happen to go to the same school as him) who I’ve found out have in turn told him. I’ve always denied it and I thought he might have just assumed that I didn’t like him (which was obvs not the case). I found out one of my really good mates which has classes with him asked him if he’d say yes if I asked him out, and she told me he said he most likely would, and also that he’s known I’ve liked him for ages. She also told me that when they bring me up he goes all blushy and tries to change the subject (which is kinda adorbs but I’m not really sure if trying to change the subject is a good thing or not). He hasn’t acted any differently towards me since she asked him(apart from maybe being a bit nicer, which is a weird but good thing I guess??), we’ve hung out a bit and he invited me over for a party at his place with his good mates about a week ago (which I’m now also friends with), but sometimes he kinda acts a bit snobbish and I’m not really sure how to feel about it. Don’t get me wrong, I wanna ask him out, I’m just not sure if I should, I mean he doesn’t know how messed up I am and I don’t really know how he’d take it if I ended up telling him. All of my mates have been saying I should ‘just ask him out already’ and ‘stop over thinking it’ and I know he said he’d probs say yes but that still allows possibility of rejection and I don’t want our friendship to die or get awkward and if we do end up going out I don’t want to feel like i’m going to bring him down all the time. Plus if he doesn’t like me as much as I like him, I don’t want to feel like i’m pressuring him into saying yes if I ask. Do you think I should still go for it? 

asking-jude responds: 

The matters of love can often be quite tricky, love. Nevertheless, it seems as though you have found an individual that is quite deserving and worthy of your love. While he may seem snobbish and/or arrogant at times, this may be due to his desire to impress and/or swoon you. To be honest, it’s quite a common occurrence among males (I would know). 

While I understand your apprehension over becoming romantically involved with such a close friend, you mustn’t allow such worry to prevent you from being honest with him. If you do not enable these feelings to be expressed openly, they will continue to fester, possibly causing resentment and/or indignation to breed within the relation you procure with him. After all, every healthy and happy relation is built upon honesty and communication. 

Therefore, I would strongly suggest arranging a get-together with him in an environment that is unimpeded by distractions and/or interruptions. Inform him of the feelings you attain for him, and your desire to pursue an intimate relation with him. As well, notify him that you do not want this confession or possible relation with him to break the bonds of friendship you two have built over the years. Moreover, apprise him of your unease over how your mental instability may affect the relation as this is an important factor to consider. I’m sure with enough discourse, both of you will be able to reach some sort of satisfactory agreement. 

However, if he does not choose to pursue a relationship with you, do not let said rejection define you as an individual. You are a bright, beautiful young girl who deserves unconditional love from an equally bright and beautiful person.There will come a day where you will meet that special someone who will brighten your smile and lighten your days. It’s only a matter of time, lovely. 

As far as your mental instability is concerned, I would inform a parent and/or guidance counselor about the matter as soon as possible. I’m sure they will be more than willing to provide you with the outlets (e.g. support groups, therapy, medical treatment, etc.) that you deserve. As well, if you are ever in need of comfort and consolation, don’t forget to check out Blah Therapy and/or 7 Cups of Tea. They’re great sites for those in need of letting out their daily negativities. 

I wish you the best of luck, wonderful. Stay positive, I’m here if you need anything~! 

Oct 11

Anonymous said: Know any other good advice blogs? Love yours <3

Well, love, while I haven’t found many sites offering advice and/or guidance for our fellow users, there are a variety of inspirational and positive blogs on Tumblr! 

Here’s a list of my personal favorites: 

positive-recovering 

thedailypositive

positivedoodles

teamskyscrapers

you-earned-a-gold-star

cheesetriestohelp

positive-inking

notes-from-my-alter-ego

theloveyourselfchallenge

positivelifetips

Blog your little heart out, love~! 

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Oct 11

Anonymous said: I used to start uncontrollably shaking when I seriously considered cutting or suicide. Because tbh I was scared of it. Which in a way was a good thing. But now when I fell like going home and grabbing my scissors it doesn't effect me at all. I can nearly convince myself not to but it's getting harder with all the stress on me. And this morning my coach told me that when it came time, I'm not good enough for the sport I want to be in… (I love that sport and have been in it since 5th grade)

Oh, love, I’m sorry you feel such pain and anguish. From the stress you described, it is no wonder your mental instability has greatly increased. Nevertheless, there are ways in which you can prevent such excesses of anxious and depressive-like symptoms from occurring. While you may be unable to see it in your current circumstances, there will come a day where you will be the bright and vibrant individual you once were. All it takes is a little open-mindedness and positivity.

I would first inform a parent and/or guidance counselor about your deteriorating mental state. Notify them of the symptoms you attain, and that you would like to seek professional assistance. I’m sure they will be more than willing to provide you with the outlets you need (e.g. support groups, therapy, medicinal treatment, etc.) in order to take the first step towards recovery.

As well, I would try to minimize as much stress as you can in your life due to the possible mental disorder you may attain. Rather than participate in a sports team with such negativity and stress, I would search elsewhere for opportunities to perform the sport you so enjoy. Look to your school and/or community for opportunities to play the sport you love in an environment that is less hostile than the one you are in presently. Moreover, do not limit yourself to just sports! Join other extracurriculars in and outside your school in order to express any negative emotions you may obtain during that time.

If there ever comes a point where feelings of suicide become too overwhelming for you to bear, I would suggest calling 1-800-273-8255 (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) immediately. In an instance, you will be contacted with professionals trained in assisting those who hold the same thoughts and feelings as yourself. I’m sure they will be more than willing to help you out of such a dark and terrible mindset. Moreover, if you ever get the urge to express your discontent to a willing and open-minded listener, I would highly recommend you check out Blah Therapy and 7 Cups of Tea. Both sites are great for those in need of social interaction that is both comforting and uplifting.

I wish you the best of luck, lovely~! Stay positive!

Oct 11

Anonymous said: How do I - for lack of a better term - come out as agnostic to my very Christian parents? I'm so scared to because I'm afraid they'll make me feel all guilty about it... help?

Oh, love, it is always difficult to be yourself around those who are critical and belittling towards us. Nevertheless, you must defend who you are as a person as it allows you to become comfortable with who you are and what you believe in. As well, since all relationships are built upon the foundations of communication and trust, I would strongly suggest you confront your parents on the matter of religion. You do not want to continue this path of deception as it will only breed misfortune and adversity for both yourself and your parents.

I would suggest arranging a heart-to-heart with your parents in an environment that allows you to express yourself with little interuptions and/or distractions. Inform them that you have become an agnostic Christian, and seek that they honor your religion preferences. If your parents do become angry and/or vengeful, remember to remain calm and rational as to do otherwise would not be beneficial for either one of you. I’m sure with enough discourse, both you and your parents will be able to reach some sort of agreement that satisfies both of you.

Nevertheless, if your parents are still unable to accept the fact that you’re an agnostic Christian and/or seem increasingly upset over the matter, know that there is not much more you can do. Continue to honor your religious preferences, and do not look down upon yourself for being honest with them. If anything, you should be proud that you were and are able to stick up yourself in such a gracious and reputable fashion.

I wish you the best of luck, lovely~! Stay strong, I’m here if you need anything at all!

Oct 11

Anonymous said: I'm really confused about my sexuality right now. I'm a girl who's had crushes on boys before but right now I have a crush on a girl. The problem is that I don't know if I would be considered bisexual or not because she's transgender. What do you think?

Well, love, it seems as though you’re currently pursuing the rough and bumpy path towards finding yourself. While such a path may spur feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, remember that such emotions are fleeting. There will come a day where your identity will not be as distorted and confused as it is presently.

As far as your sexuality is concerned, I would not be afraid to experiment with others. In my eyes, such trivial matters as gender, race, and/or age should not be taken into consideration as love is love. Approach the situation from an open-minded and unbiased perspective. If you do decide to pursue a relationship with her, inform her of your experimentation and that you are more than willing to give it a try.

Nevertheless, do not let your preoccupations of your sexuality prevent you from loving another individual! If you’re pansexual, great; if you’re bisexual, awesome; if you’re straight, fantastic! Understand that you hold the right to love another individual, and do not let any other person convince you differently. Learn to relish and embrace love’s blind ignorance as its influence is too powerful to do otherwise.

I’m here if you need anything, wonderful! Stay lovely~!

Oct 11

Anonymous said: My bfs father broke into his room last night. He was so afraid, I could hear it in his voice. His father has a history of beating him. It was traumatizing just hearing it.. How do i help? What can I do to pervent this from happening again? Im scared.

Love, I’m sorry for the situation your significant other is currently in. I cannot imagine how traumatizing it must be to once again be in danger of such an abusive and violent individual. Nevertheless, while you are limited as to what methods you should use in assistance with his present circumstances, you can still make quite a difference if you remain helpful and proactive.

I would suggest that your boyfriend report his break-in to the local police immediately. Have him inform the officials that his father has a history of physical abuse, and there is a grave possibility that your boyfriend is in danger of his father’s vengeful violence. I’m sure the police would be more than willing to prohibit this occurrence from happening again as well as provide you with the necessary advice as to what to do next from both of your current standpoints.

As far as your boyfriend’s mental stability is concerned, I would be as comforting and understanding as possible. Inform him that you do love and care for him, and that if he ever attains the desire to vent about his father’s doings, your door is always open. As well, if he ever becomes fearful and/or resentful towards his father, reassure him that everything will be alright and that you’re here for him. I’m sure he would greatly appreciate having someone to turn to during such a grim and distressing time.

I wish you the best of luck for both you and your boyfriend, love~! Stay positive, I’m here if you need anything.

Oct 11

Anonymous said: 😢 i sent you a question a couple days ago and you never answered. It was about my cat. It might sound stupid but it matters to me... Can you please answere it?

Just did, love~! Sorry for late reply~!

Oct 11